Friendly Tourists

Dear Mr BirdBander,
   We keep hearing something about "lame ducks." Please see the enclosed picture. We don't think fishing and bathing is so lame. What gives?
   Happily full and clean,
Friendly Tourists

Dear Friendly Tourists,
   The term "lame duck" refers to politicians who have been disabled by a lost election. Please visit our state again for the finest fishing and bathing anywhere.
   You are most welcome,
Mr BirdBander
 

Senor Moreno

Dear Mr. BirdBander,
   How can I get this mini-cam off my tail feathers?
Really weighed down,
   Senor Moreno

Dear Senor Moreno,
   Attached you will find the name of someone within flying distance who can remove and refurbish the camera, and give it a new home watching our government at work.
Your weight will be lifted,
Mr. BirdBander

Big John Little

Dear Mr. BirdBander,
   Everyone keeps saying I have a big head. How should I respond?
Gone fishing,
Big John Little

Dear Big John Little,
   Tell them you have big thoughts and they need their space.
Catch one for me,
Mr. BirdBander

Mr. Succotash

Dear Mr. BirdBander,
     "Why Not Wyandotte" is the story of corny birds who are full of beans. Will this book appeal to roosters and hens and chicks alike?
p.s. Enclosed is a self-portrait.

Sincerely,
Mr. Succotash
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Dear Mr. Succotash,
     That is a lovely portrait. You have quite an imagination. Everyone will enjoy your book, especially if you include a couple of old recipes.
Thank you for writing,
Mr. BirdBander

We'll Talk

Dear Mr BirdBander,
     I was a fan dancer for a flock of cardinals, but they fired me for lack of color. What should I do?
Standing on my head, Fannie Dee

Dear Fannie Dee,
     We need someone like you in the BirdBanders Bird Band. Fly on over and we'll talk.
Bill BirdBander

Sandhill Cranes

Dear Mr. BirdBander,
     Over the weekend, I saw hundreds and hundreds of sandhill cranes veering off from their flight path along the lake, and then flying north and west towards their homes. What is going on?
With a questioning mind, Eyes to the Sky

Dear Eyes to the Sky,
     What a great question. Spring is just around the corner, that's what it means. Spring!
Write anytime, Bill BirdBander

North Wind

Dear Mr.BirdBander,
     We got the flock out of there, but it turned out that I did not hang enough rights. For the most part, they all ended up at a lovely resort in Paraguay. I landed somewhere that is not Kansas anymore, but pretty close. My question is this - Can I survive 3 months in the face of a cruel north wind?
Starting to not feel my feet,
Loretta VanFussBind
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Dear Ms.VanFussBind,
     Doubtful, unless you head out now to the big lake and get yourself a little nest buddy. I'll text you with the coordinates and a couple of contacts.
May you once again feel your feet,
Bill BirdBander